RomeoMarriage.com

Next MarriedLife | May 17th

padam — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 12:28:27 +0000

Join us for our next mini-marriage conference!

Saturday, May 17th 6:15pm-8:30pm

Buffet dinner and presentation
Cost $25 – payment no later than May 11th
Free childcare

Marriedlife Live coming February 9, 2008

padam — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:44:10 +0000

This could be your best Valentines date!

Great marriages don’t just happen! If you want what God wants for you then come to Marriedlife to invest in a great marriage. Marriedlife is a mini-marriage conference for you and your spouse to be with other couples and experience incredible music, creative programming and a relevant message all designed to encourage and empower your marriage.

When you walk in, you will immediately experience Italy. Make sure you come on time because you will be treated to a catered Italian dinner served promptly from 6:30-7:00pm. Following dinner you will enjoy great music and a discussion based in God’s Word on nurturing romance. This will be an unforgettable Valentines’ Day experience.

The Five Love Languages: Speaking the “Acts of Service” Language

padam — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:25:59 +0000

By Bob Bryant Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Love Languages, offers valuable insight into how we may be able to encourage a spouse to show their love through acts of service.

Question: We are both working full time and when I get home, I start dinner but my spouse comes in and sits on the couch. How do I encourage him/her to participate in household chores?

Set fire to the couch! Then hand him the fire extinguisher. Do this every two days for one week. He will no longer sit on the couch. Well, that’s one approach, but not one that I recommend. Nor do I recommend yelling at him and calling him a lazy slob.

All of us have patterns of behavior we have developed through the years. Some of these are helpful to the marriage, and some are detrimental to the marriage. The problem is that we are not always aware of what these are, until they are brought to our attention. But how you bring them to your spouse’s attention is the important thing.

I suggest you initiate a “marriage improvement month.” Say to your spouse, “I’ve been thinking about us, and I don’t want us to drift into a dead marriage. I don’t want to just be an ordinary wife. I want to be an exceptional wife. Would you be open to giving me one suggestion each week for the next month on how I could be a better wife? I would give you one suggestion on how you could be a better husband, and both of us could grow. Would you be open to this?” If he is, then you are on the road to positive change. One of those weeks you can share with him what you would like him to do when he arrives home. He will not take it as nagging because you have made it a part of your month of improvement. If your husband agrees to give you a suggestion each week, but is not willing to take a suggestion from you, I would encourage you to go for it. Before the month is over, I think you will see a change in his attitude.

Specifically, Dr. Chapman describes how he speaks the language of acts of service to his wife.

My wife’s love language is “Acts of Service.” One of the things I do for her regularly as an act of love is to vacuum the floors. Do you think that vacuuming floors comes naturally for me? My mother used to make me vacuum. All through junior high and high school I couldn’t go play ball on Saturday until I finished vacuuming the entire house. In those days, I said to myself, “When I get out of here, one thing I am not going to do: I am not going to vacuum houses. I’ll get myself a wife to do that.”

But, I vacuum our house now, and I vacuum it regularly. There is only one reason I vacuum our house: love. You couldn’t pay me enough to vacuum a house, but I do it for love. You see, when an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love. My wife knows that when I vacuum the house it’s nothing but 100 percent pure, unadulterated love, and I get credit for the whole thing!

Question for you: What act of service would communicate love to your spouse? Instead of thinking about the acts of service you would like to see your spouse accomplish, what would your spouse like to see get done? Are you willing to do that act of service to demonstrate your love for your spouse?

Great Marriages Don’t Just Happen

padam — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 21:18:02 +0000

We each come to marriage with a different personality and history…with different expectations, different ways of approaching things, and different opinions about what matters in life…We need not agree on everything but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not become divisive.” Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages). The problem is that husbands and wives speak different love languages. Your emotional love language and your spouse’s language may be as different as Spanish from English. No matter how much you try to show love in English, if your spouse understands only Spanish, you may never understand how to love one another.

Consider Joe and Kim. Joe wants to be told that his hard work is appreciated. After spending a Saturday working on the lawn, he desires his wife and kids to express how great the lawn looks and what a great job he did. Dr. Chapman would conclude that Joe’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation.

Following this nearly full day working hard on the lawn, Joe is exhausted. As he comes into the home, he sees that Kim has cleaned the house. Joe tells her in glowing words how great the place looks just as he wants to be told how great the lawn looks. So, Joe is trying to show love to Kim based on Joe’s primary love language. This would be great if both Joe and Kim spoke the same love language; however, Kim isn’t looking as much for the verbal appreciation as she is for focused attention and quality conversation.

After a long day of working, Kim is hoping that Joe will sit down and focus on her rather than sports, and she is hoping the conversation will involve sharing experiences, thoughts and feelings in an uninterrupted context. For Kim, it is not enough that Joe spoke English by giving her words of affirmation; but instead, Joe needs to speak Spanish and learn to speak his wife’s love language of Quality Time.

In addition to Words of Affirmation and Quality Time, the other three love languages that Dr. Chapman identifies are Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Consider the following five questions for a 30 second assessment, and you may be able to identify the language you lean toward:

I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
I feel especially loved when someone helps me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.
I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

Having good intentions for a good marriage is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love. One thing is certain, great marriages don’t just happen. Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love.” One step in the right direction to make your marriage better is to understand your own personal love language and your spouse’s love language.

Consider picking up a copy of Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. While that’s a good idea, it is difficult for both husband and wife to read another book on marriage. That is why Married Life was founded. Four times a year, Married Life comes alongside couples throughout Macomb and Oakland Counties to encourage and empower them with essential truths for a healthy marriage. This is a great night beginning with appetizers, upbeat contemporary music, a relevant biblically based message on The Five Love Languages, desserts and the opportunity to meet some great people.

We invest more into almost everything else than we do into our marriages. Join us as we will take hold of truth for a great marriage. You can sign up for Married Life, coming Saturday, September 22nd, beginning at 7 pm and running till 9 pm by going on line at www.romeomarriage.com or calling 586.752.3905. The host location of Married Life is 7800 W. 32 Mile Road, Romeo, Michigan 48095. The cost per couple is $10 and childcare is available for $5 per child with a maximum childcare cost of $20.